"Remember that the most difficult tasks are consummated, not by a single explosive burst of energy or effort, but by the constant daily application of the best you have within you." - Og Mandino

"Money can't buy happiness" we are told from the time we are young, but most of us laugh, and reply, "but I'd surely like to try and find out!" Almost every person admits to trying to find the secret to happiness. Sometimes, it may seem as if others have everything going for them, and that they lead a "charmed" life. It may appear that they achieve success every time they try something new. Then, we may compare their situation to our own lives, and realize that we have more than our fair share of struggles.

The person who seems to have an easier time of negotiating life's bumpy roads knows that life is so very short, and they cannot dwell on what they don't have, but instead, must focus on what they do have. They learn to appreciate their own accomplishments and those of their friends and family members. They can make decisions about goals for who they want to become, and set out to achieve those goals. They don't let life's adversities keep them down for long, but use the hard times to really see the beauty in their life and learn from it.

The following information is based on excerpts from a book by Bernie S. Siegel, M.D. entitled, Prescriptions for Living, which was published in 1998 by Harper Collins Publishers.

Show your appreciation - Give a reminder of your love to someone that you love. Send a quick note in your child's lunch bag, or give your spouse a longer hug as they leave the house. This applies not only to family, but also to those your work with each day. These types of relationships also require work and need reminders that you care for them and their feelings. They may also need your help when they are hurting.

Learn from your mistakes - Don't let your mistakes discourage you. Mistakes are opportunities to show that you have heart. Be willing to say that you are sorry. If you follow up your mistakes by doing the right thing, without making excuses, you show everyone that you care about them and that you are responsible and trustworthy.

The power of love - If you want true peace of mind, it is important to love those people who are outside your immediate circle of family and friends. This is the old teaching of learning to love your enemies. When you learn to love your enemies, they don't exist any more. Love has a warming effect on even the coldest of hearts. Hatred is bad for the hated and worse for the hater. Love is more powerful and much harder to handle than anger.

Loving your family can be harder than loving your enemies. With your family, you are most likely to be emotional. If you remember the old song, "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative", then you have the perfect description of how to love your family. Before you speak, ask what a loving grandmother would say.

Be thankful for your problems - Good things really can come out of adversity. Remember the old saying, "inside every dark cloud is a silver lining". Life is sometimes full of Murphy's Law, where anything that can go wrong, does! Having problems means your have the opportunity to learn and grow. You have the opportunity to be grateful. You can learn to feel more grateful by rethinking your attitude toward life.

First, remember that contentment lies in giving. If you know that giving is better than receiving, then you can feel grateful for what you are able to give to others. This does not mean you ignore your own needs. You will decide what to give and how to give it, and then at the end of the day, you will be grateful for having had the chance to give in your own way. We all have something to give, and our ability to give is not related to our finances or physical strength.

We should also be grateful for being alive. This means that when you are grateful for life, your life becomes one you can be grateful for. This may sound simple, but your attitude really does have an effect on how things work out for you. Even when you can't change your life in any other way, you can still have the power to change your attitude. When you change your attitude, your life changes. You find more chances to love and to grow, and best of all, you will find that more love is returned to you.

Be the best you can be - Begin thinking of yourself as a project in development. You can change yourself and create a more fulfilling life - if you remember to make decisions that will make you happy. Creation starts when you see your life as an opportunity to express your talents rather than as a chance to fail.

Information provided by Summit Medical Center Psychiatric Program
Hermitage, TN
April, 2000

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